by Jess Whetsel

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I find myself shaking when I read the news these days. 
My hands tremble as I take the world in, worst-first. 
It feels like spoon-feeding myself toxic sludge. 
It sits like a stone in my belly amongst the rising tides 
of bile and acid. There is only so much I can stomach 
before I have to lie down like a Victorian woman on a fainting sofa, 
the back of one hand kissing my damp forehead, 
the other arm lolling towards the floor like a corpse limb. 

This is the part where I want to cry, 
but I am too numb to make tears. 
I’ve been here enough to know 
they won’t come when it’s convenient. 
They will lie in wait until suddenly 
they are streaming down my face 
as my feline soulmate nestles in the crook of my arm, 
after perfect sex with the love of my life, 
while I clip blushing peonies in spring sunlight. 

There is still plenty of good in the world, 
but I have to want to see it, like peering
through the haze of a Magic Eye 
for a glimpse of clarity. I have to stoop
to hear it over the sound of everything else 
fighting for a fraction of my limited attention span. 

All I know is that hate is loud 
but lacks substance. 
Love is a softer kind of audacity, 
like this bouquet of pink-petaled 
fireworks in my hands. 

There is still plenty of good in the world. 
I just have to reach for it.

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[The poem is from the author’s debut poetry collection, A Softer Kind of Audacity, to be published in November 2023.]

© Jess Whetsel

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Jess Whetsel (she/her) is a poet, writer, editor, and public speaker based in Toledo, Ohio on Erie, Kickapoo, Seneca, and Odawa land. Her poetry has appeared in the literary journals Tulip Tree Review and Discretionary Love. 

You can learn more about Whetsel and her work on her website, www.jesswhetsel.com, or by following her Instagram, @jesswhetselwrites.

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