by Moe McCarty

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It’s my first time, and I didn’t know any better. 

I’ve counted my mistakes as though if I could only improve the math, they’d wash away into the gutters. 

But sewer water swells during storms, and I’d find myself drowned in my mistakes once more, anyway. At the first sign of rain, I would seek high ground, indulging in places I wouldn’t want to be found, where I don’t think you’d go looking for me. 

And I wouldn’t want you to. 

Because I know it’s your first time, too, but you’ve done it better than I have, faster and smarter, and I just want to reach the finish line. So, I’ll go home, turn out the lights, 

let the flood waters clean the slate. 

There’s nothing wrong with failing, no wrong way to get up again, and again. Tomorrow’s a new day to continue the fight. I’ll haul on my thick skin again. It’s my first time being human. 

If I try once more, 

maybe this time I’ll get it right.

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© Moe McCarty

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Moe McCarty (she/her) is a 27 year old artist and poet. She began committing her time to the arts 7 years ago and has since lived her life practicing finding beauty in the daily struggles of life. Her other works can be found on Instagram @mage.holy where she posts her various forms of artwork, crochet pieces, poems, and blurbs from her daily life as a disabled woman.

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