by Nitika Balaram
Yesterday in my Arabic class
I learnt how to say
En-naes betmoot fi kol makaen
Ana za3laena wa alby beyo3ga3ni
People are dying everywhere
I’m sad and my heart hurts
And I feel these words making micro-tears
Through my soul, as my heart aches and my throat
Scratches for that space
Where I find the courage to
Breathe
And wipe away the tears of agony
Guilt gnaws its claws in my gut
Like an animal plotting its escape
Seeking freedom from this caged empire
That sweeps shrapnel and shell casings
Under the carpet, on the orders of the domineering
Puppet master they haven’t unmasked yet
En-naes betmoot fi kol makaen
Anhi amaeken? Which places?
The places they claim are poor and war-torn and
underdeveloped
But you know what’s twisted backwards?
This language. English.
They call us barbaric but they are thieves
Robbing dreams, stripping dignity, stealing land
Rich in natural resources and connection
Of sacred soil that they could never
Begin to understand: this bond with home
They are guests in every house they own
Ana za3laena wa alby beyo3ga3ni
But in those pieces of my broken heart,
I will find the strength to resist and hope each day
Despite the grief, the pain, the heartbreak
I will seek out ways to break the cage
Despite the grief, the pain, the heartbreak
© Nitika Balaram
Nitika Balaram (she/her) is a writer with a creative soul. She was born in India, with Indian and Iranian roots, grew up in New Zealand, and now lives in Australia on the unceded land of the Kombumerri and Yugambeh people. Her poems and flash fiction have been published in Swim Press, The Wee Sparrow Poetry Press, Free Voice Revolution, and more.
Follow her writing journey on Instagram @nitika.balaram.
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