by Sandy Ruiz
Confine yourself to a label and you will check the box
but there is more than one path, more than one choice
to live your life.
Choose one and another, limitless
At seven I looked down at my fairy Barbie—
her shiny blonde wisps curled
among her glittery pink wings.
I wanted to float among the delicate bright butterflies,
inhale the citrusy peonies of Fairytopia,
and dance with the Prince in the Magic Meadows.
At nine I looked at my pediatrician—
her stethoscope glimmered beneath the fluorescent lights,
tongue encapsulated the dictionary.
I wanted to heal the sick with a tap of the knee,
dispense lollipops and My Little Pony stickers,
and no longer require an apple a day.
At fourteen I looked at my English teacher—
her mountains of limited-edition books
towered over the posters of Maya Angelou wisdom.
I wanted to feel the words flow naturally from my lips,
recite dramas from memory to reality,
and spark a love for literature.
At seventeen I looked at Sonia Sotomayor,
transcending the bench over the majority
while striking the gavel to ring for justice.
I wanted to defend my voiceless people,
be the first Latina to be and do,
and represent my immigrant heritage.
At nineteen I looked in the mirror—
my eyes shimmered with the hope of so many journeys
I was a Barbie fairy, I was a doctor, I was a teacher, and I was a judge.
Confine yourself to a label and you will check the box
but there is more than one path, more than one choice
to live your life.
Choose one and another, limitless
When I grow up, I will not dread this question
the uncertainty of having so many options
and interests not being enough to settle down.
When I grow up, I am grown up.
I am grown up,
I want to be happy—with crow’s feet to prove it,
I want to be loved—and feel it,
I want to wake up—and feel grateful to be alive.
As I grew up a career did not define me.
© Sandy Ruiz
Sandy Ruiz (she/her) is a poet based in Rockford, Illinois. Her poetry has been recognized at the academic level by being published in Rockford University’s Literary Arts Magazine FINGERPRINTS. She is currently a Distinguished Scholar at Rockford University, studying English and Psychology.
Find her on Instagram @sandy.ruizdiazz.
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